Wheel Chair : Life dictionary

About : Wheel Chair 

Picture : i shot it in a resting area on they way back to Cairo 

Thought : What a wheel chair represent ? handicap , petrification , freezing , despair . 

Reason : i was just waiting for my family to finish praying El Gomaa prayer , and under the heat of the sun , i was sitting infront of it , thought of a good picture it's gonna be if i took it , and hey there is no escape from my straying .
Possibility : that i may use it one day ? well , God only knows , but if i am too careful , then maybe it's a little possibility . There is the possibility of old age , recklessness , not very aware . Fate doesn't really depend on we doing the maths , but it helps to predict .
If : if it happened , i will try to look at the bright side . It would seem very hard for me if i am too attached to earthly pleasures . If i have a strong bond between me and God then it shouldn't be much of a problem . I would see what can i do to survive .

 Robert A. Heinlein quotes :

“Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.” 

The dark node

The electricity went out in the whole neighborhood . The individuals - supposedly members of the family - stopped doing whatever they were doing , it is dark . Under one roof , now what are they gonna do ?!  The father was out , working late at the hospital , the mother was on the phone but had to hang up to check upon her kids who were all occupying different entertaining appliances , PC , tv , and more PC s! 

The mother lit up couple of candles and put them in the living room , she heard her youngest child crying for her because she was scared of the darkness , so she picked her up from the coach facing the TV and went back her seat . The other two went out of their rooms and the middle daughter was murmuring , cursing . The eldest brother heard her , she was standing a few inches from his right side , he tried to reach out for a chair to take a seat until the light comes . He bumbed into his middle sister who was still murmuring and sighing , and he got his own share of curses and names , so he pushed her into a seat which was a coincidene that she fell on a chair , otherwise she would have fallen to the ground , and the state would be just worse and worse .

At that moment  , that they are in one room , in the darkness , under one roof . How frozen they were , they were silent . The mother was tickling her little child just a bit to break her bordum , she didn't see her little girl's face , but her laughter sounded so sweet . Reminded her of her middle daughter , she used to have a sweet laughter , nevertheless , she almost have forgotten it  , it's been a long time since she talked to her as a friend , or had her as a companion in the daily life . Busy life . She tried to recall when was the last family gathering , they didn't have a gather and a seat together for some years . They are growing up and becoming more self dependant , she felt  how she missed them , but being busy just couldn't allow her to feel it . 

They said as we proceed in technological progress , the weaker the family bonds get . How fragile now is a family's construction , how material they've grown to be . There are many other tight families out there , but unfortunately most of them are those of less education , family is what their life is about , no greater ambition , for women in most cases . 

They are born to breed . Once they get married , less educated people usually disappear from society , they no longer play a role in it - that if they had a role in the first place - It is dark , and they are silent . The mother thinks of her eldest son , where had he gone to all these days in the past . He usually stays over a friend for a couple of nights , and other nights were he comes home he just goes to sleep . How far did he get in his college life , does he get good grades ? is there some girl ....?

Wouldn't she have found the answers if she just asked him ? That would be naive , because she wouldn't just ask him right away after a long time of no seeing , no talkings , and no gatherings . Even if she did , he wouldn't just answer her ! He would just laugh at the situation , and ask her " are you going to play mom now ? "  . But hey , is this really her fault ? What about him ? Has he ever tried to talk to her ? Or is it because now this is how families are , so how can he be any different? 

He was having his own seas of thoughts , and - surprisingly - his thoughts matched hers , they met at a point . 

Their thoughts reached to the checkpoint where they should have reached in a vocal form , by which they exchange questions and answers , and explainations , and laughters ! Will they repeat the thoughts  - out loud - until the light comes ?!

من مقالات محمد عواد

قصة الحكيم و العقرب 

جلس عجوز حكيم على ضفة نهر وراح يتأمل في الجمال المحيط به ، وأثناء ما كان يتمتم صلواته لمح عقربا... وقد وقع في الماء وأخذ يتخبط محاولا أن ينقذ نفسه من الغرق فقرر العجوز أن ينقذه.

فنهض ومدّ له يده فلسعه العقرب ، سحب الرجل يده صارخا من شدّة الألم ولكن لم تمض سوى دقيقة واحدة حتى مدّ يده ثانية لينقذه فلسعه العقرب....سحب يده مرة أخرى صارخا من شدة الألم وبعد دقيقة راح...يحاول للمرة الثالثة!

على مقربة منه كان يجلس رجل آخر ويراقب ما يحدث فصرخ بالرجل: "أيها الحكيم لم تتعظ من المرة الأولى ولا من المرة الثانية وها أنت تحاول إنقاذه للمرة الثالثة !"

لم يأبه الحكيم لتوبيخ الرجل وظل يحاول حتى نجح في إنقاذ العقرب..! ...ثم مشى باتجاه ذلك الرجل وربت على كتفه قائلا :
يا بني من طبع العقرب أن "يلسع" ومن طبعي أن "أحب" ، فلماذا تريدني أن أسمح لطبعه أن يتغلب على طبعي؟؟.

مقتطفات اعجبتني

  اشياء تؤلم مثل :  ان تصافحهم باستفساراتك فيصفعونك باجاباتهم  

The account of the mysterious girl

He opened his lap top , logged in the facebook , checked the notifications they were only 2 new ones , one of them says " Sally also commented on her photo " , he expected to see a reply for his comment which was appreciating how nice the picture was , he checked the photo again to see her reply , realizing she was replying to another boy who commented after him ...
While the other notification was an event for an upcoming social festival , he read the description , and felt no enthusiasm as usual . he felt this shallowness of the event , he felt it as shallow because he had no one to invite him to go there . He has got pals , they are good ones , meet them for football match or just hang around in cars or some kinda stuff ..
It felt itchy at that moment , he went to the search box , and wrote her name ..
She is not in his friends list , they didn't have a face to face contact , they just exchanged once couple of messages , she started them demanding some help in university assignments , then it stopped .
Since these messages started , he was interested , saw some couple of mini notes she wrote down in her account  , they said alot of things even thought she might have only written two sentences in each note or something . His eager grew more , he kept checking from a day to another , some days might come without checking her writings , because he wasn't at the mood , he is having hard times , maybe that's why he is curious to know what she writes .. and he felt her not like any other shallow girl , there is something down there inside her .
He read in a new note mentioning her step-father as a " life time problem " ...and she'd put some weird gloomy pic that he couldn't find a meaning of it except loss .
A week passed by , he didn't log in during that time , the mood was prevailing again , he becomes lousy when he is having it , anything wouldn't matter to him , he just stays alone , no one to talk to because he just doesn't want to . He is not alone , but he has a big hole in him , an error in the psychological system .
He thought of a change , so he logged in and went to her account . whenever he goes there , it's like he is tasting her without her knowing , searching inside her without asking for permission ..
He goes there and he feels like he is having some sort of drug that is treating him temporarily from his mood . He feels like they can be real friends , and they can help eachother out of the misfortunes, then he revised his thoughts , he once had this experience , it was close to perfect , except that it was ruined because his best friend got engaged . He still remembers how much he got hurt and felt that space that she used to fill , he wouldn't do that again ,because it was so sweet ..
He feels itchy about clicking on the request for friendship button  . He wants to click it , but that was not enough .If there was something he would do , he would keep that distance between him and her mystery .

اكثر احتراما

كنت احضر نفسي لصلاة الظهر ، و كان الجو حارا ،  و بالنسبة لي كفتاة فيتوجب علي لبس الحجاب للصلاة ، كنت قد لبست الطرحة ، و لففت ملاءة غير مهندمة و مثقوبة حتي احجب بقية جسمي حتي تقبل صلاتي .. و لففتها باهمال و ربطها حول وسطي ، وجدني  اخي  بهذا المنظر فقال لي " ما هذا ، لماذا لا تلبسي ما هو اكثر احتراما ؟ "

خجلت من نفسي ، فنحن عندما نخرج من بيوتنا نرتدي اجمل الاثواب و نضع ارقي العطور ان امكن ، و ان استضفنا احدا فنعمل المثل ..اولا نرتدي اللباس الراقي عندما نقابل الله ؟ فأني سأقابله و سوف اكلمه !!!

 خلعت الملاءة و ارتديت عباءة طويلة .. و كشيء من الاعتذار لله لعدم وضع هذا في بالي تعطرت بالياسمين حتي اقابله و انا بارتياح نفسي ، و اشم رائحة طيبة ، و بدأت المقابلة ....                 

give a life to hope

i always love to live up to my dreams , and whatever i hope for , i try to achieve them .. even if i failed in achieving it , at least it would be considered as a trial for me :) .. this video i have created  as a first step of directing a video , there is still a long road a head , but i'll do my best , i need your prayers ! :) 

كوكتيلة

كانت قاعدة في المواصلة ، و زحمة زحمة ، بس مفرقتش كتير لأن في زحمة برضه في دماغها . زحمة و لغبطة ، و مفيش استقرار ..افكار كتيرة شغلاها ، حتي لو افكار هايفة ، بس دماغها عمرها ما وقفت عن التفكير . 

قرفت من الناس اللي حوليها في المواصلة ، و الريحة اللي طلعة ، ناس غلابة اه بس مش معني كده ان هم مش شامين نفسه؟!!  كانت حاطة السماعة في ودنها .. بس صوت الطبل بتاع الاغاني الاجنبي جبلها صداع ، مسكت الموبايل و راحت لبرنامج  الراديو اهدي شوية ، ممكن تسمع شوية قران.. بس افتكرت انها في الانفاق .. مشتغلش .. لسه اقدمها وقت عقبال متوصل لبيتها .. و محبتش تفضل تبصبص علي الحوليها .. مش مناظر تفرح يعني ، و محبتش تسرح و تستسلم لافكرها .. مش بيودوها حتة ..خصوصا لما تبقي مضغوطة ، الدنيا تقفل زيادة كدة .. واحد بيعدي فخبط فيها .. بصتلو ورا بقرف .. مقلش حته لو مؤاخذة ..بس تلقيه مخدش باله ، حصل خير ! يا تري الناس دي عايشة ازاي ؟؟ يا تري مبسوطين ؟  هي مبسوطة في حياتها .. مفيش عقد ، بتحب تفرح  اوي ، لو ملقتش حاجة تفرحها تمل جدا ، و لو جت حاجة زعلتها ممكن تتفق مع وجهة النظر " مشاكل عشان نكسر الملل " ...  جوه شنطتها الكبيرة مصحف و كتاب . هي عاوزه تعمل حاجة مفيدة ، مبقتش عاوزة تضيع وقتها ، بس هي مش في وضع روحاني عشان تقرأ في المصحف ، و لا هي فايقة تدفسلها معلومتين جداد جوه دماغها .. 

بس هي عاوزه برضه متفكرش في اللي حصل النهاردة و اللي حيحصل بكرة .. كانت مضايقة ، حتي الحاجة اللي حاسيتها ملقيتهاش قبل كده طلعت مش كاملة ، ممكن .. هي اتعلمت حاجات .. و متعلمتش من القرصات اللي خدتها ، قالت اللي ميتقلش ، و مقلتش اللي يتقال ..الناس شايفاها  بطريقة متشابهة ، بتنبسط لان معظم الانطباعات كويسة ، بس هي فيها حاجات اتغيرت ،  و في حاجات استقرت فيها و بقت مكنونة في قلبها .

في لسه نواقص كتيره . و بالنسبلها تحب الظاهر زي الباطن ، فهي ناقصة من جوه و من بره ، هي مضايقة ، بس بتقول الحمد لله  ..

هي لسه ملغبطة و مستنية تستقر ، ممكن ميفرقش معاها اي حاجة ، بس هي مش بتحب تبيع  اي قضية .. و لو قضية خسرانه يبقي تسكت علي حالها  و تحارب .

a recommended Sheikh who reads Quraan magnificently

http://www.tvquran.com/abkar.htm

laws to the sarcastic me !

Man , that's like going wild .... o' .i can't find my way back to earth of reality , why should i anyway??!
it's me when i am thrown in troubles ..
it's not like me when i am not that one lost under the clouds of the rainy thoughts ..
i get punked whenever it feels so
whatever i say , it just came out without decision , but maybe has a point that i am not aware of , at least ..not yet! 
it's me when i have the free soul
the possession of a free willing .
the desire to cross the barrier between you and me 
it's me ..when i have the desire to laugh ..then i laugh in the saddest situation
yea , and crying ..it is my enemy ..shows my weakness sometimes ,shows when do i get punked ..even if i want to , still it's a mystery for me , why do i dislike this part in my life , when i begin to weep .
however , tears are signs of innocence too ..mm ..i'd be glad if i had bits of this innocence , if anything pure left? ! after all these troubles we have been through and still facing them ..
best thing i found when i get punked ..is that u realize everything is so easy to be done , but it's hard to make a decision , and it's hard to take a first step ..or perhaps i feel lazy?
yea that's me too..laziness is my friend ..so is doubt ..so is forgetting , so is being blinded by some good things done for me .
we have to uncover our eyes though from time to time , to see and check upon facts ..are they still the same ? did laws of life change? did humanity wake up? did conscience get born again?? did hypocrisy die? 
these are laws to me ..
laws i have found without searching for them , by luck!
it's not like i am gonna say i am lucky i knew these laws , because still ...hundreds of laws i haven't learned of yet ..still and still ..i am being sarcastic of things , of every one , of myself ..it 's also a law in human being ..law of complicated human nature ..